2011

It’s a whole new year, a whole new chapter. Here’s hoping it’ll be a better one… I haven’t been posting at all the past month, but heck, it’s been extremely busy.
Well, I’d be the world’s biggest idiot by now, ‘cos I’m still hanging on -.-
It’s been six months and I still have those dreams where you’re in my arms, where you look me in the eye and give me your perfect smile, and it’s like nothing had happened… And something in the back of my head says it’s no longer a reality, but I try to repress that feeling, and I tell myself I can’t control my dreams, but a part of me doesn’t want those dreams to stop. And honestly, waking up would be a lot easier if I didn’t see something that reminded me of you at every turn…

There, I sound like an idiot. What’s it matter any more?

Many ask me why I pursue a relationship with such fervor. Well I guess it’s due in part to the fact I’ve never had a proper relationship with a sibling. I know it’s a weird reason but part of me just wants to feel the affection, the kind of intimacy and affection that even the best of friends would lack. And then again… My best friends have all left. Sigh…
Well, until next time I suppose… Which I guess will be quite a while.

Just Save Me

Just Save Me by Like A Storm

Can you hear my voice where you are
When I’m without you every moment falls apart
I’m a burned out light in the dark
In my empty shell I’m calling out.

I’ve lost my faith lost my way
(It’s all so far away)

What have I become
Can’t face the morning sun
(Just save me)
You’re the only who can pull me out
Save me from myself
(Just save me, Just save me)

Pull me closer to you
I can’t escape this emptiness I fell into
Caught in a shadow I can’t see through
I’m nothing without you

What have I become
Can’t face the morning sun
(Just save me)
You’re the only who can pull me out
Save me from myself
(Just save me, Just save me)

Lost my faith,
Lost my way
I need to feel you here again
Just save me

From what I’ve become
Look what I’ve become
(become)

I bleed for you
I bleed for you
I bleed for you

What have I become
(Just save me)
Can’t face the morning sun
(Just save me)
Now I’m screaming out save me from myself
Just save me

What have I become
Become
You’re the only one who can pull me out
Save me from myself
Just save me, Just save me

 

God Damn, You’re Beautiful

God Damn, You’re Beautiful by Chester See
On the days I can’t see your eyes,
I don’t even want to, open mine.
On the days I can’t see your smile,
Well i’d rather sit, wait the while.
For the days I know you’ll be near,
‘Cause a day without you, just isn’t fair.
See the days I can hear you voice,
I’m left without a choice.

Plus I get weak in the knees,
Fall head over heels baby,
And everyother cheesy cliche`.
Yes I’m sweeped off my feet,
Oh my heart skips a beat.
But theres really only one thing to say.

God damn your beautiful to me,
Your everything, yeah thats beautiful
Yes to me, Ohhh

I can’t find the words to explain,
Just how much you got me going insane.
When you speak to me sometimes we fight,
Oh I studder my words i say nevermind.
‘Cause even when you just walk by,
Well I look around to seem occuppied.
‘Cause i’m trying so hard to hide,
Yeah, All these feelings inside.

‘Cause i get weak in the knees,
Fall head over heels baby,
And everyother cheesy cliche`.
Ohh I’m sweeped off my feet,
My heart skips a beat.
But theres really only one thing to say.

God damn your beautiful to me, Ohhh
Your everything, Yeah, thats beautiful
Yes to me, Ohhh
Yes to me, Ohhh

Yeah your beautiful..
Yeah your beautiful..
God damn, your beautiful,
To me,
To me.

You ask me why I can’t forget you… Well here’s why ):

Don’t Wanna Stop Dreaming…

Call me disillusioned, but I’m still hoping you’d come back. Thinking about you and me, and what we could’ve been, but all that can possibly happen, will only be in my dreams. I miss you so much, but I can’t say you feel the same (although I really do hope you feel the same).
I just want to talk to you, to laugh with you. But no, you have no interest in carrying our conversations any more… I don’t even know why I bother.

Sigh… It’s just, one of those days I guess.

“I dont hate you , I never could .
I dont regret meeting you , I never will .
But I do regret our relationship .
It destroyed the best thing we had , our friendship .
All I could wish for at the moment is to have back what we lost ”

That Girl

That Girl by David Choi

Oh, tonight I’m feeling fine
I’m alone, just wasting time
No Friday movie nights
Or romantic candle lights

I’m just having conversations
With the thoughts in my head
All I hear are angels crying
Oh, won’t they just sing instead

It would be wrong for me to say

I don’t need that girl by my side
I don’t need that girl in my life
I don’t want to talk it out
Or hold her when she cries

I don’t want to say she’s my kind
I don’t want to say that she’s mine
I don’t want to tell her that
I love her more than life
More than life, Yeah
Love her more than life
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Honestly, this won’t do
How is she doing?
I tell myself I’m feeling swell
But I know I’m such a fool

I could take it as a new beginning
But you know I don’t feel that way
Who will take all this pain away?

I know it’s wrong for me to say
I don’t need that girl by my side
I don’t need that girl in my life
I don’t want to talk it out
Or hold her when she cries

I don’t want to say she’s my kind
I don’t want to say that she’s mine
I don’t want to tell her that
I love her more than life
More than life
Love her more than life

Talk about a sin
Was the day I walked into the other side
I would run back in
I wouldn’t waste no time

I know it’s wrong for me to say
I don’t need that girl by my side
I don’t need that girl in my life
I don’t want to talk it out
Or hold her when she cries
I don’t want to say she’s my kind
I don’t want to say that she’s mine
I don’t want to tell her that
I love her more than life
More than life
Love her more than life

I feel so empty without you… I miss you. I tell myself I’ll be okay, but I’m lying to myself. I can’t say that I’m over you.

I’m feeling suicidal. And that scares me

Happy birthday to me..

“I want you but I don’t know why. Just so many things that I wish I could say to you, but I know you never tried. Now you’re too far gone to wonder why…”

Well, happy birthday to me I guess.
All I could ask for my birthday, is to be able to spend one day with you. One day where we could be like we used to be. You ask me over and over what I want from you for my birthday. The truth is, all I want is to hear those three little words again, to hear you whisper in my ear, “Baby…”

I guess I should be happy that, at least, you remembered. But yet, I’m distraught. Who’d have known, that a simple two-word message, “Happy birthday (:” could still hurt so much. Is that all I’m worth to you? Just two words? Not even a lousy phone call? I guess it’s all I’ll ever mean to you. I’m just another stupid guy vying for your attention, and to think I actually thought we had something.

Sure, you still said it. But I don’t see it. I wish you’d just come clean with me, and I never thought I’d ever say this to you, but I’m fucking sick and tired of your games. Just tell me once and for all, I’m really, really exhausted. You lead me on, then you put me down, and then you lift me up again. Tell me, am I a fucking toy to you?!

I’m just oh-so-tired. I just wanna give up, and yet I hold on like a fool.

I’m back! I guess..

Well… A thousand apologies for my long period of absence, it’s been pretty shitty of late. (I know, I’ve been saying that for quite awhile now)

It just seems that everywhere I turn there’re reminders of you, and it hurts me like crazy. Here’s an example:

People ask me why I chose number 23. Well, the truth is, I chose it because of you. I think you should know what it stands for. And I thought I’d let you wear it, but now, it’s just another painful reminder of what we used to have.

I’ve been searching for outlets to vent, and to distract me from the pain in my chest. And I think I’ve finally found it.. I’ll make song covers, to share with the world. I hope you guys’ll give me your support

http://www.youtube.com/user/Winzforthewin

Of course, this means I’ll be concentrating more on it and less here (not that I’ve paid this site much attention at all, mind.)

Torn Apart

Well, I guess you can call me the greatest fool. For I’ve been reveling in a lie. All the times you said you loved me, all LIES.
You never did share my feelings, I was never first-place in your life. I should’ve known all along, what we had wasn’t strong. You’ve moved on just like that, while I’m here, like an idiot, hanging on to what we had, like a survivor hanging onto a piece of driftwood. Maybe I should just let go, I’d drown, but at least I wouldn’t feel anything any more.

And now, it feels like my heart’s been torn and torn over again. Lord, please help me..

“Take my place and look inside, I’m trying to find a place to hide. Lost my faith but don’t you cry, I’ve got a hole inside and it’s 10 Miles Wide.”

Don’t Wake Me

Don’t Wake Me by Skillet

I went to bed I was thinking about You
I ain’t the same since I’m living without You
All the memories are getting colder
All the things that I wanna do over

I went to bed I was thinking about You
I wanna talk and laugh like we used to
When I see You in my dreams at night
It’s so real but it’s in my mind

And now I guess this is as good as it gets

Don’t wake me ’cause I don’t wanna leave this dream
Don’t wake me ’cause I never seem to stay asleep enough
When it’s you I’m dreaming of I don’t wanna wake up

I went to bed I was thinking about You
And how it felt when I finally found You
It’s like a movie playing over in my head
Don’t wanna look ’cause I know how it ends

All the words that I said that I wouldn’t say
All the promises I made that I wouldn’t break
It’s last call, last song, last dance ’cause
I can’t get you back, can’t get a second chance

And now I guess this is as good as it gets

Don’t wake me ’cause I don’t wanna leave this dream
Don’t wake me ’cause I never seem to stay asleep enough
When it’s you I’m dreaming of I don’t wanna wake up

Don’t wake me we’re together just You and me
Don’t wake me ’cause we’re happy like we used to be
I know I’ve gotta let You go but I don’t wanna be alone

These dreams of You keep on growing stronger
It ain’t a lot but it’s all I have
Nothing to do but keep sleeping longer
Don’t wanna stop ’cause I want You back

Don’t wake me ’cause I don’t wanna leave this dream
Don’t wake me ’cause I never seem to stay asleep enough
When it’s you I’m dreaming of I don’t wanna wake up

Don’t wake me we’re together just You and me
Don’t wake me ’cause we’re happy like we used to be
I know I’ve gotta let You go but I don’t wanna be alone

I went to bed I was thinking about You
‘Cause I don’t wanna leave this dream
It ain’t the same since I’m living without You
‘Cause I never seem to stay asleep

I know I’ve gotta let You go but I don’t wanna wake up

Guess I’ll only ever see you again in dreams and pictures… I miss you :’(

Legacy

“I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
of happy times and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun,
of happy memories that I leave when life is done.” -K. Andrews

17 years, and I’ve yet to find my purpose in life, not even an inkling of it. Guess I’ve just been stumbling through life like a drunkard. Maybe it’s time for me to take the reigns and make something of myself…

I miss her so bad, and I don’t know how much I can take. Guess I’ll just keep dreaming, ‘cos never again will I feel her sweet lips on mine.